The Chicken Wolf All-Stars: A Compilation of the Best Old-Timey Baseball Names

One of the main reasons that I love baseball is the historical aspect of the sport and the ability to compare players across eras better than in other sports. Comparing players across the 130 or so years of organized professional baseball has been made significantly easier by statistic compilation websites like Baseball Reference and Fangraphs, but there will always be one area that cannot be compared whatsoever between today's game and the game that was played at the turn of the 20th century: the names and nicknames of old school players. Today's MLB is full of diversity in names, as players from across the world compete in the league, but is surprisingly lacking in quality nicknames. Far too often, today's fan simply abbreviates a player's name and calls it a nickname (e.g. A-Rod), but the creativity has really left the process. Fortunately, the late 1800s and early 1900s had the baseball names category locked down. I've always been infatuated with old-timey baseball names and have finally compiled a list of the all-time greats by position. I included a starting 9 and filled out a 5 man rotation, but there are still a ton of classics out there, so please let me know who I've missed by posting in the comments section below! Now, without further ado, let me introduce you to the Chicken Wolf All-Stars (the listed team is the one with the best name that the player played for):

How did he get the nickname Candy?

Catcher: Ossee Schrecongost, 1902 Cleveland Bronchos
- Ossee played for 11 seasons from 1897 to 1908, with a variety of teams. This isn't really a nickname, but the name was preposterous enough to fill out our catcher position. Mr. Schrecongost was quite fast for a catcher today; he had three seasons where he registered 5 or more triples!!

1st Base: Candy LaChance, 1896 Brooklyn Bridegrooms
- Candy played for many teams, and had a fabulous mustache, as you can tell by his headshot on the right. I generally don't understand how a man that looks like Mr. LaChance gets the nickname Candy, but I'd love to hear the story. Candy was actually part of the 1903 Boston Americans team that won the World Series, possibly becoming the only stripper-named person to win a championship.

2nd Base: Cupid Childs, 1899 St. Louis Perfectos/1900 Chicago Orphans
- Cupid Childs' nickname is much more understandable, as he looks quite cherubic in his Baseball Reference picture. I had to pick two teams for Cupid, since you can't go wrong with either the Perfectos or the Orphans. I also found it quite funny that he seriously downgraded in team name, and went from riches to rags. On a related note, can we call the 2007 Patriots the Perfectos for purely ironic reasons? Too soon?

Shortstop: Pebbly Jack Glasscock, 1884 Cincinnati Outlaw Reds
- Pebbly Jack Glasscock is one of the superstars of the Chicken Wolf All-Stars, both for his odd nickname and his, frankly, hilarious last name. I'm hoping the Glasscock part was not a nickname of any sort, because I do not want to know how he got it. Pebbly Jack put up a beastly .419 average with 72 hits in 38 games for the 1884 Outlaw Reds, who actually only existed for that one season.

3rd Base: Hick Carpenter, 1881 Worcester RubyLegs
- Hick was born before the Civil War, made his professional ball debut in 1879, and lived to the age of 81. That's all I really have to say about the man, but his picture is decidedly more interesting. Whose hand is grabbing his head? It sure as hell isn't his own, since he would have to be in a very uncomfortable pose or have a detachable arm, which would hurt his burgeoning baseball career. I don't think this mystery will ever be solved...

Outfield: Chicken Wolf, 1883 Louisville Eclipse

What a man.

- Now we get to the real studs on this squad, including Chicken Wolf, the captain and namesake of the all-time old-timey baseball names team. Chicken Wolf had a mediocre 11 year baseball career, but his name was as good as it gets. As you can see by his picture, he also had unbelievable facial hair and personal style. I think he looks like he is either a steamship captain or some kind of World War I German official, both of which are fantastic professions that William Van Winkle Wolf could have explored had he not died at the young age of 41. I'm sure he went out in a suitably spectacular way, like a pistol duel or a horrible prospecting accident.

Outfield: Welday Wilberforce Walker, 1884 Toledo Blue Stockings

-WWW, as I'll call him, only played for one season in 1884, but made a lasting impact with his fantastic name. If you click on the link above, you'll be able to see that WWW is black, which is quite odd for 1880s baseball. The Toledo Blue Stockings were actually the only major league team with African-American players (WWW's brother also played for the team) and white players playing together until Jackie Robinson's debut for the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1947.

Outfield: Peek-A-Boo Veach, 1890 Cleveland Spiders
- Unless he was an adult baby, I don't really get this nickname. Veach was joined in the Peek-A-Boo club by 1990s Olympic skier Picabo Street, who I'm sure was named after the short-lived professional baseball player. Why else would she have such a dumb name?

Starting Pitcher: Old Hoss Radbourn, 1887 Boston Beaneaters
- Old Hoss is the only baseball Hall of Famer on the Chicken Wolf All-Stars, and is regarded as one of the best pitchers of the dead-ball era. In 1884, when playing for the Providence Grays, Radbourn threw an unbelievable 73 complete games and went 59-12 on the year. He was a 300-game winner and had a career winning percentage of .614. No wonder he's a Hall of Famer. Well, that & his awesome nickname.

Starting Pitcher: Urban Shocker, 1927 New York Yankees
- I had to throw in my favorite Yankees name of all-time, and no old-timey baseball names list is complete without the immortal Urban Shocker. Shocker was one of the starters on the Murderer's Row Yankees in 1927 and helped lead them to a World Series title. Shocker has two International League records to his name: longest scoreless innings streak (54) and lowest single season ERA (1.31). He was also the last Yankee to ever throw a spitball in a game, but he will always be remembered (at least by me) for his legendary name.

Starting Pitcher: Pretzels Getzien, 1886 Detroit Wolverines
- This is one of my favorite baseball names ever, since I'm sure he got the name either by being constantly tangled up in his own legs or by loving him some hot pretzel. Pretzels was an unspectacular player over his 9 season career, and definitely didn't make the Chicken Wolf All-Stars for his performance as a pitcher. But his nickname was as good as anybody's, and that's what really counts.

Starting Pitcher: Phenomenal Smith, 1888 Baltimore Orioles
- One of the most nonsensical nicknames of all-time: Phenomenal Smith was decidedly mediocre. He jumped from team-to-team over his 8 seasons in professional baseball, and wasn't particularly 'phenomenal' for any of them. He has a career ERA approaching 4, and only pitched over 200 innings three times. Phenomenal, my ass.

Starting Pitcher: The Only Nolan, 1884 Wilmington Quicksteps
- Were there any other Nolans at the time? Or was The Only Nolan actually the only Nolan? Nolan only played for 5 seasons, and wasn't particularly spectacular in any of them. However, he seems to be the forefather of the modern archetype of the cocky, self-involved athlete in the vein of Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens. I guess he will be remembered for that, and his fabulous nickname.

Well, that winds up our whirlwind tour of the Chicken Wolf All-Stars, but the quest for great old-timey baseball names never ends. Please let me know who I might've missed and your personal favorites by commenting on the post. Hope you enjoyed the rundown, and be sure to look to Bobby V's Fake Stache for all of your fictional All-Star team lists!

-Cote